A time with God....

How often does this happen in our lives? My hyprocrite answer would say, "daily". The truth is not often enough. Most days feel like I'm on autopilot. Other days, I would love someone to push the pause button and forget that they were watching me. Today...I took some time out between me and my Lord, Jesus Christ. It was nice. You always here it being preached that, you should take some time. When my husband got re-born the first year afterwards where great. It was hard for me to imagine at that time God would do anything less. Oh, but as my hubby and I walked proud as one in Christ we went from being in the back of the line to being on the front line. Satan has shown/still shows his head daily. I REBUKE HIM IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!!!!!! So much is going on right now in my life, my families live and the world that taking an hour with Jesus is my start. The start to stop pointing fingers and step up to the plate that God has for me. God has placed people in my life to help me grow closer to Him....so today is day 1. Wrote in my prayer journal Read the entire book of Micah and most of all Prayed. May God's grace and mecry touch each of you who pass through here. In the name of Jesus. Amen.

Catching up....

I know, I know...I need to get better at this. Life has been, to say the least....busy. My family is wonderful.....busy...at times on my nerves....and, where in the world is peace in quiet??? Brooklyn is 1 and walks/runs everywhere. Independent with an attitude sums her up. I am still so nervous about being a mother to a girl. We are so complex and emotional. Lord, help me....if she is anything like me can I request a few more angels surrounding her please? Braylon will be 4 in the upcoming weeks. WOW. Played T-Ball this season. Don't know if it is truly something he wants to do but at least he got to experience it and observe. He was so quiet, well behaved and well.....between you and I bored. Bray likes action....he is ALWAYS on the go.....flag football should brighten his spirits in the fall. With both my husband and I in school....we don't have much for much....but thankful for God being our center and guiding us through this journey called life. Will have to update later.... To all who pass through here may your life be fulfilled with God's grace.....

DAD

Disheartened by the man that goes by dad….. HURT, angry, disgruntle, HURT, saddened, disappointment, HURT, annoyed, confused, baffled……HURT. I wish I could tell you that I knew what age I was when my parents got a divorce….I don’t I wish I could tell you that the reason they got divorced…..I don’t I wish I could say that my dad was this horrible person who threatened our lives so we had to leave….I can’t I wish I could say that growing up people talked so terrible about him that the way I feel is validated….they didn’t Everything I know about my “dad” I’ve learned by his action, his words or his lack thereof. I don’t remember him at a piano recital. I don’t remember him at my first school dance. I don’t remember him at more than one, if any dance recitals. I don’t remember him at gymnastic. I don’t remember him at my cheerleading competitions. I don’t remember him at my piano competitions. I don’t remember him when my first boyfriend made me cry. I don’t remember him when I got engaged. I don’t remember him when I broke my nose. I don’t remember him all the times I visited the emergency room. I don’t remember him when I shared my dreams and aspirations. I don’t remember him at my surprise sweet 16 party. I don’t remember him at my high school graduation. No…I remember….he wasn’t there. I remember that my “dad” bought me a Mickey Mouse talking doll that at the time was almost the size of me when I was younger. It was the BEST toy ever because it came from him. I remember the day I was in Kansas City and I called to speak to my dad and a women answered the phone, asked who I was, told him it was his daughter calling and she said, “he doesn’t have a daughter”. I remember when he walked me down the isle at my wedding, upset because he had to share the moment with my step-dad. I remember when you came to my son’s christening, upset because he had to share the moment with my step-dad. I remember writing you once a week to give you information about me, YOUR daughter to rebuild our relationship. I remember you visiting my family to see your grandchildren and me praying that you would be there for them as they grow. In all this you are “PISSED OFF” at me because I didn’t come and see you when we were 4 hours away visiting the ONLY family I’ve ever known…. I could say so much…but instead….for me to heal….I have to give you over to Him…..Jesus Christ

And here's to Brooklyn....

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY BROOKLYN SKYE!!! You are... ....everything I dreamed of and more ....my heart, my soul and the love of my life ....courageous, determined, enthusiastic ....one of the greatest blessings God could have given When God created you he knew EXACTLY what I needed.... ....a daughter.... beautiful, determined, courageous, fun, intelligent....THAT IS WHAT LITTLE GIRLS ARE MADE OF...forget sugar and spice!

Letting Go.....

She Let Go ... Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of fear. She let go of judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go. She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She just let go. She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go. She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore. Here’s to giving ourselves the gift of letting go… There’s only one guru ~ you. Author: Jennifer Eckert Bernau

Merry Christmas....

I love this time of year!!! More so now that I have little ones running around. We, my family and I have soooo much to be thankful for. God has definately showed up and showed out for us. Every time I go in Wal-Mart its dishearting. People have forgot about the real meaning of CHRISTmas. I was one of those "Crazies" out on black Friday. Actually, I went to Garden Ridge, it was a ghost town and bought my children each their own CHRISTmas tree. Then...crazy me was thinking black Friday hasn't started at Wal-Mart mom and I will just run in and pick up the little things we need....NOT. Why is it that people get so bitter around this time? Anywho.... My little girl will be one next month...where did the time go? My sweet boy is 3..... I'm a parent......mesmerized.....I'm a mother!!!!!! Jemir Scott, born into heaven on June 1, 2006: Thank you for being our little ray of sunshine by being our guardian angel. You are truly missed. Daddy and I love the time we spent with you. Loving you from a far and holding you in my heart forever. Mommy and Daddy love you! Braylon Scott: My dear sweet boy. You have opened our hearts to a world we love!!!!! That big girn, cute personality and hugs we can't ignore. Daddy and I love to see you expand your knowledge each and everyday. You are an awesome big brother and your sister adores you. Mommy and Daddy love you! Brooklyn Skye: Daddy's princess. Your giggle makes our hearts smile and your big brown eyes reminds us that you are a gift from God. Daddy and I are excited to see what God has planned out for you. Mommy and Daddy love you! Be thankful for the gifts that God has blessed you with. Sometimes we often take blessings for granted; especially the small ones. This isn't the season about who can get the best sale, who will by the biggest gift or even who will have the most presents under the tree. God gave us the biggest gift of them all, his son. Jesus Christ gave us a gift that we could never repay. Remember...you can't have CHRISTmas without CHRIST. Merry Christmas!

Past Frustrations...

Sometimes they just don't understand. Tired of being tired....definately at my point where I need to shut the world out and only lean, pray for pray and standing beside the one person who has never failed me....Jesus Christ. Do you all ever get like that? Today is one of those days.......Breathe.....deep breathe.....and breathe. There is not enough me to go around....I don't even have time for.......ME! Frustrated. So my challenge to myself is...take time for me. Set boundaries. And always remember to breathe. On a lighter note.....I LOVE LOVE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR!!! This is my last year spending "family traditions" with my family. I have yearned since having children to start my own traditions. The people who are in my life are hand picked by God to be my support system. It's only a hand full of them. I can't begin to tell you how AWESOME God's love is through the people he has surrounded me with. The other day I called a dear friend of mine to uplift her spirit in God and oh how awesome the God we serve is...because he spoke to me through her and it was exactly what I needed to hear. THANK YOU JESUS!!!! As always....relying on our Lord, Jesus Christ. With out him I am nothing.....